The story of a life between love stories and work
Anonymous, age: 80

Where do you live?
Part-time in the nursing home and part-time at my girlfriend’s home.
Life Story…
I am from Klerken. My wife was from Roeselare. I knew where she worked and I used to wait for her. That’s how it began, you see? She was a wonderful woman. Our ages were just 6 days apart. We’ve had a blissful marriage. Blessed with 4 children: a son, a daughter, another son, and yet another daughter.
The youngest, a midwife, now resides near Leuven. Raising 4 children is quite something.
I was never at home, leaving at 6 in the morning and not returning until 10 at night. But when all your children are studying, it’s expensive, you know. You want to give your children a good start in life. I had a good wife. She was also thrifty. My wife made her own clothes, everything herself. She did her own hair. She did 80% of everything herself. I’ve been so happy. She was only mad about one thing, if I put her name in a rhyme. I loved her very much! We went everywhere together. If you saw one, you saw the other. Travelling together, shopping…
There were disagreements, of course, you can’t always agree. But when it’s time to go to bed, it should be over. Otherwise, it just keeps going. It’s a shame she passed away. She could also be angry. If I did something wrong, she could be mad. If you do something wrong, you do, right? Nobody is infallible. I was happy at home. I had a loving wife. I am so grateful. I still miss her.
She chose euthanasia. My wife had ALS, a muscle disease. In the end, she had trouble speaking and had trouble with bowel movements… She then begged, “Daddy, may I go?”. I allowed that, just for her, you know. I didn’t want her to suffer. She died in my arms. I would have preferred to go first.
I’ve also been through some though things.
But I was also lucky, my wife had a friend. We were all in the cycling club together. My wife and I, and her friend and husband. She also fell alone. When my wife died, we could rely on each other. My wife had suggested that I could rely on her friend. That must have hurt, you know. She knew I couldn’t easily stay alone. And she said, “Darling, she will take care of you.” And she did. A person is not meant to be alone. Affection feels good. It’s mutual and you feel it. You feel if it’s mutual or made up.
You have something to look forward to. Hugging, holding each other close. Affection and friendship. That’s important in life. I miss her when she’s not here, but she can’t be here every day, you know. When I go to bed, I put her photo next to me. I love her. We call each other every day. The most important thing is that I’m happy with my girlfriend for the time I have left.
I went to vocational school, but I didn’t finish my year. I didn’t like it. But I was a “handy Harry”. I got the chance to learn a trade while working. I worked a lot! Liked working! Working doesn’t kill you. If you have stress, well, you can’t sleep. If I had stress, I thought about my wife, and it was over. I worked, first in Hooglede and then near Ghent.
I was the chief mechanic there. My boss liked me. I didn’t work for myself but for my boss. Not just for the money. I would never refuse if my boss asked for something. If it fit in my schedule or not, I made it work. Both my sons have also worked there.
At 62, I was allowed to retire. I had so many years of service.
Buying a house. First, we lived with her dad, but then we built our own. We could choose and had a basement, a beautiful garden, and then I also built a shed to store my equipment. I worked on the bikes myself. Making a wheel, straightening it. I also worked on my car myself, the boiler, I did it all myself.
I got a company car, I didn’t have to buy it. I got that because I often had to go back and forth to Ghent. I also worked on Saturdays until 2 or 3 in the afternoon and didn’t get home until around 4 or 5 in the afternoon. Then we quickly did the shopping together.
It hurts to come here, always being able to be independent. But I couldn’t be alone anymore. My house is sold.
Here, I keep myself busy with my diary, I write everything down, watch television, sit in the hall, play cards a bit… You’re not alone then. Sitting alone every day… Have a little chat.